How do I not get so attached?

How do I not get so attached?  I'm asked that question often and my response each time is, "I absolutely am attached!"  But you know what I'm beginning to understand?  Attachment is exactly what baby girl (and any kid for that matter) needs! And although I may only be in her life a short period of time, I want her to experience attachment, experience love, and experience family. 

God has a way of using our past to shape us. If you're reading this blog you likely know that this time last year we had to let little man go from our home. Our intentions when bringing him to our home was straight up adoption....not fostering.  I was definitely of the mindset that I could never foster. Loving a child then letting them go.... I could never do that. After he left, God open my eyes to the reality that fostering is just what we had done. And as a matter of fact, I could love a kid then let them go. I had done so with little man!  

Within the first week of having baby girl I wrestled with the decision of whether or not to buy her a "lovey" (for those who don't know what I'm talking about....it's the little animal heads with a small soft blanket attached). These items have been crucial for my girls. Lots of searching and lost sleep over looking for them near bedtime (any other parents identify with this?!?! 😩). I was concerned that if I got her one and she got attached to it, that when she left it might not be a priority for those she went home to and would therefore have another "loss" in not having it. A seasoned foster mom encouraged me to get it and reminded me that baby girl forming that attachment now would help shape her ability to form attachment later in life. Better to be able to attach and lose it than to never attach at all. Such wisdom from that mom!! Thank you Haley 😀. Now as I watch her learning to sleep with it by turning to the side and covering part of her little face with it, it brings great joy to know she's learning to attach. 

And pictures like the one here show me that not only is she learning to attach, but my girls are too!!  They loved little man well and they are loving baby girl well also. My heart overflows with joy as I see them give joyfully and selflessly. Will it be easy when baby girl leaves?  Not at all.  But one thing I do know....it'll definitely be worth it....for us all!!!  

Life is a journey...not a destination.

So where has the journey of life taken the Schulte's recently?  Well, this blog was created to journal our adoption journey, but as most of you know, that journey took a big unexpected turn.  So where are  we headed now?  I would like to tell you that I knew...but I've thought that before and been dead wrong.  So I will just share what God has been doing this past few months and wait excitedly to see what he will unfold in the future.  After little man left in May, our family took a few months to process, grieve, and reconnect.  Before our experience with him, I had always said that I could never foster; I could never love a kid and let them go.    What I realized in that time was that we had basically done just that!  We loved him and had to let him go.  Also, while he was with us, we saw how much he grieved over the loss of not being able to be with birth family.  It.was.hard!  Slowly through these experiences God opened our eyes to the world of fostering.    So the beginning of this year, we told our agency we were ready to open our home again, but this time we wanted to strictly foster.  Funny isn't it how God works?  Two years ago I was telling my social worker, older child, legally free, not interested in fostering.  Now I'm telling her younger child (really infant), fostering, not interested in adopting!  We have had a few calls but none that have worked out as a placement in our home.  Then as we wait, God sends another opportunity our way.  Another local foster family had gotten a call about a newborn baby.  Since both parents work, they had to arrange child care during the week for the baby asap.  Insert Schulte family!  How fun!  So we've been watching a sweet newborn for a few weeks.  It's been such a joy to love on the baby and help meet a need for another foster family so they could have the baby with them in their home.  As I watch the girls interact with the baby, I am blessed each time at how open and willing their hearts are to bring this baby in, love on her, knowing it is a temporary thing.  These pictures are of sweet baby with my girls.  (she hasn't experienced lack of being held :) )  We found out recently sweet baby will be heading back to family soon so our season with her will be coming to a close.  But just like any journey, the memories and experience make an impact on your life.  Alongside this chapter, God has opened doors for me (Rachel) to be heading to China in October with America World Adoption Agency to aid in assessing older special needs children in an orphanage with the goal of coming home to tell their stories and help find them forever homes.  After finding out the agency really wanted to focus on sending medical personnel to assess these children, I reached out to several local friends who are in the medical field.  Still watching God write this part of the story, but it looks like several will be joining me in October!  This is a neat experience especially since our adoption journey actually started back in 2011 when Russ and I went to China, came home and began the international adoption process for China.  God closed that door for us to walk through in 2012, but who knows what the next chapter might hold!